Why should celebrities have all the fun? They're always naming their kids all sorts of wild and crazy things.

 

Yes, this was partly inspired by Blue Ivy Carter. What was wrong with Ivy Blue? Does that sound too normal? Now your daughter is going to grow up with legions of Old School fans yealling "you're my boy, Blue!". Poor girl.

 

So, let's all go have babies and give them awesome names. Ok?

 

(note: let's not actually all go have babies, that would be very irresponsible)

 

Top 10 songs to name your kids after:

 

10: Kings Of Leon – The Bucket

Mostly because it would be fun to say "This is my son, The Bucket" with a straight face.

 

 

9: Pearl Jam – Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town

Go big or go home. There's heaps of room on those Birth Certificates, so you may as use it all. "Call me Elderly Woman for short."

 

 

8: Daphne & Celeste – U.G.L.Y

Or you can go subtle and name your daughter Ulrika Geraldine Leroy Yasmine, and see how long it takes for her school mates to figure it out.

 

 

7: Lionel Richie – Hello

You know how you sometimes hear people talking around you, and you think you hear them say your name, so you get a bit worried? Imagine how paranoid you'd be if your name was Hello.

 

6: The Datsuns – MF From Hell

This is just inappropriate. But in the best way.

 

 

5: Sigur Ros- Glosoli

Be one of those annoying people who 'creatively' spell names; "His name is spelled G-L-O-S-O-L-I, but it's pronounced Steve".  

 

 

4: Matt Corby – Brother

Only works if you have a girl.

 

 

3: Eminem – My Name Is

So many options. "Hi my name is Hi My Name Is". Or, our favourite, call your kid Chicka Chicka.

 

 

2: The Police - De Do Do Do De Da Da Da

Why not name your kid after its first words? Plus kids love it when grownups say 'do-do'.

 

 

1: The Presidents Of The USA – Lump

If there was any justice in the world, every child born from now on would be called 'Lump'. That is the kind of world we want to live in.

 

 

What would you call your kid? Remember you get bonus points for choosing something that should never be a person's name ever.